there is shallowness
in the air you breathe and the space i occupy
in the myriad reasons that we should not be,
and this may be hard to imagine
but when there comes acceptance, there will be losses
lately i can’t seem to tell
if you used to worry and i consoled you
simply out of fear that a shared collective guilt
would wipe us
or if my words rung empty and you fell apart
when i sent letters in remonstrance
i know this may not seem like it
but i fear tremendously for this love untangled
where we walk vicariously
never dreaming, never hurting
only dwelling in uninhibited passivity
secluded from the tyranny of being
and through the years when fits of rage
compelled us to walk out on dishonest contracts
i wondered why you never read my letters
leaving me to withstand a silence that refused to tell,
refused to share secrets we had promised never to keep,
and when i found your unguarded letter
snuggled neatly, as if almost calculated
underneath the broken coffee table,
the goodbye was anything but
for we had already agreed that when i would worry,
you would walk
