Nobody said it was easy

I sink back into my heavily cushioned chair as I ponder over circles and borders, and boundaries that ought not to be crossed. But it’s such a shame that I have no control. Feelings overwhelm and memories haunt and I can’t help but be blinded by the brilliance of hearts bonded in a time so spacious yet severely restricted. “Nobody said it was easy,” he sings and I nod in agreement. Mothers worry and fathers furrow eyebrows in concern as I hold my own. “No one ever said it would be this hard.” That is true, yes. But I’m strong; I assure them and silently strengthen my resolve to see this through. Pain is superfluous, ephemeral at best. I’ll ride this wave and go on a cruise tomorrow waving goodbye from the deck of a ship I have never been on and cannot say for certain what shore it intends to land on. There is an inexcusable reality in the fiction of life and I struggle to keep it alive though I know I will one day reach the end of the endless horizon. And when I sail into the sunset, I’ll find you and remember to tell you that I tried hard but the boundaries blurred and the finish line dodged my unsteady gaze. I was waiting for dawn to break and I am so very sorry for your heavy heart.