I lost her on the highway, on the way home back to New Hampshire. She begged and pleaded, shed tears of remorse and promised it would be different thereafter, but my resolve was unshaken. I hardened my heart into a stubborn slate of baked clay, sieved through all the emotions that were the many reasons for forgiveness, and stared defiantly back, my cold marble eyes piercing holes in her rehearsed apologies. I made myself judge and jury, pronounced the irrevocable verdict and set out on the road less traveled, the road to perdition, she said.
She didn’t take it well – I knew she wouldn’t – but what could I do. I was deceived once and wasn’t about to fall into the same trap twice. She wasn’t good enough; I wanted, needed something more for the price she was offering. Negotiations broke down early and so I walked out, channeling the frustration built on the long ride home. You see, she made new mistakes everyday, never giving me the chance to familiarize myself with them, to accept them as products of a struggling soul. So they ascended into the ranks of categorical flaws, turning into unacceptable and unforgivable products of a sinning soul.
They tell me that I killed her, but I swear I never saw her following. I broke the rear view mirror first thing so I would never have to look back.
That last line rocks. Are you sure you didn’t get it from some song? Hehe. (But “thus” just doesn’t flow man, take it out. Seriously.)
♥
No, Asmaa, it’s not from a song. My stuff isn’t pirated unlike yours
(yeah, you’re right. done)
I don’t know how to do the heart thing, but love back. And to sam also.
hehehehe!
A wonderful wonderful piece. Very artistic – each sentence forces me to conjure up images in my mind. Your narrator is in a serious predicament.
Assalamu aleikum,
That was masterfully done. The last line is certainly the crowning glory, but it is the careful sentence construction of the entire piece that I think deserves due recognition. I am particularly fond of the last two of the second paragraph (“You see..” to “soul”). You go, girl (mashaAllah, wa barakallahu feeki). But I can’t figure out how she’d have died if she was following him (*sheepish*).
Please continue to humble me
Masha’allah (is that what I keep saying? but I have to…)and like Eye said, my mind had a whole landscape of images playing your words out.
Eye, my narrator is indeed in a serious predicament. But the images will hopefully serve as guide.
Shajara, the careful sentence structure was not planned, I assure you. No, really, I speak truth. I am not a nerd I tell you!!!
Thanks for the awesome commenting. It’s very much appreciated as always. But I insist on criticisms also. Please and thank you.
Commonplacer, the Mashaallahs are also much appreciated!